Crazy English
Shared By Mark Flippo
Kamal-deen Musah English literature and Linguistics
June 19 at 6:44 PM ·
: English? Not so simple.
Homographs are words of like spelling but with more than one meaning.
• A homograph that is also pronounced differently is a Heteronym/synonym.
• Do you think that English is easy? I think a bored retired
English teacher put this together. THIS IS GREAT!
Please enjoy it and read it all the way to the end. This took a lot of work to put together!
1. The bandage was *wound/covering* around the *wound/damage*.
2. The farm was used to *produce/make happen- produce/product*.
3. The dump was so full that it had to *refuse/not allow* more *refuse/trash*.
4. We must *polish/make shine* the *Polish/European* furniture.
5. He could *lead/show the way* if he would get the *lead/lazy* out.
6. The soldier decided to *desert/leave* his *dessert/sweet food at the end of a meal* in the *desert/dry sandy place*.
7. Since there is no time like the *present/now*, he thought it was time to *present/give to* the *present/gift*.
8. A *bass/fish* was painted on the head of the *big/bass* drum.
9. When shot at, the *dove/bird-dove/flew into* into the bushes.
10. I did not *object/take offence* to the *object/noun*.
11. The insurance was *invalid/not legal* for the *invalid/handicapped*.
12. There was a *row/fight* among the oarsmen about how to *row/move*.
13. They were too *close/near* to the door to *close/shut* it.
14. The buck *does/causes* funny things when the *does/females* are present.
15. A seamstress and a *sewer/nitter* fell down into a *sewer/nasty* line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his *sow/hog* to *sow/plant*.
17. The *wind/air* was too strong to *wind/curl up* the sail.
18. Upon seeing the *tear/rip* in the painting, I shed a *tear/water from eye*.
19. I had to *subject/person* the *subject/undergo* to a series of tests.
20. How can I *intimate/explain* this to my most *intimate/closest* friend?
Let’s face the real sense of it, English is a crazy language.
• There is no *egg* in *eggplant* or *ham* in *hamburger*;
neither *apple* nor *pine* in *pineapple*.
• English *muffins* weren’t invented in *England* or *French* fries in *France*.
• *Sweetmeats* are *candies* while *sweetbreads*, which aren’t sweet, are *meat*.
• We take English for granted but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that *quicksand* can work *slowly*, *boxing rings*
are *square* and a *guinea pig* is neither from *Guinea* nor is it a pig*.
And why is it that *writers write* but *fingers* don’t *fling*,
*grocers* don’t *groce* and *hammers* don’t *ham*?
• If the plural of *tooth* is *teeth*, why isn’t the plural of *booth* be *beeth*?
• One *goose*, 2 *geese*. So, one *mouse*, 2 *meese*?
• One index, 2 *indexes*?
• Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make *amends* but not one *amend*?
• If you have a bunch of *odds* and *ends* and get rid of all
but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers *taught*, why didn’t preachers*praught*?
• If a *vegetarian* eats *vegetables*, what does a
*humanitarian* eat?
• Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
• In what language do people *recite at a play* and *play at a recital*?
• *Ship by truck* and *send cargo by ship*?
• *Have noses that run* and *feet that smell*?
How can a *slim chance* and a *fat chance* be the same, while a *wise man* and a *wise guy* are opposites?
• You have, to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in
which your *house can burn up* as it *burns down*, in which
you *fill in* a form by *filling it out* and in which, an alarm *goes off* by *going on*.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human *race* which, of course, is not a *race* at all.
That is why, when the stars are *out* they are *visible* but when
the lights are *out* they are *invisible*.
• PS: Why doesn’t *buick* rhyme with *quick*?
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.
• There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings
than any other two-letter word. That is *UP*.
• It is easy to understand *UP* meaning toward the sky or at
the top of the list, but when we awake in the morning, why do we wake *UP*?
• At a meeting, why does a topic come *UP*?
• Why do we speak *UP* and why are the officers *UP* for?
election and why is it *UP* to the secretary to write *UP* a report?
• We call *UP* our friends and we use it to brighten *UP* a
room, polish/shine *UP* the silver; we warm *UP* the leftovers and clean *UP* the kitchen.
• We lock *UP* the house and some guys fix *UP* the old car.
• At other times the little word has real special meaning.
• People stir *UP* trouble, line *UP* for tickets, work *UP* an appetite and think *UP* excuses.
• To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed *UP* is special.
• A drain must be opened *UP* because it is stopped *UP*.
• We open *UP* a store in the morning but we close it *UP* at •NIGHT.
We seem to be pretty mixed *UP* about *UP*!
• To BE knowledgeable about the proper uses of *UP* look
the word *UP* in the DICTIONARY.
• In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes *UP* almost one quarter
of the pages and can add *UP* to about thirty definitions.
If you are *UP* to it, you might try building *UP* a list of the many ways *UP* is used.
• It will take *UP* a lot of your time, but if you don’t give *UP*,
you may wind *UP* with a hundred or more.
• When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding *UP*, but
when the sun comes out, we say it is clearing *UP*.
• When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things
*UP*, when it doesn’t rain for a while, things dry *UP*.
• One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it *UP* for now as my,
time is *UP* so... it is time to shut *UP*!
Now, it’s *UP* to you to decide what you are *UP* to with this post.
*Crazy English*
That was a major mouthful!!! I need a nap now!
http://moderndayparablesrcf.com
Shared By Mark Flippo
Kamal-deen Musah English literature and Linguistics
June 19 at 6:44 PM ·
: English? Not so simple.
Homographs are words of like spelling but with more than one meaning.
• A homograph that is also pronounced differently is a Heteronym/synonym.
• Do you think that English is easy? I think a bored retired
English teacher put this together. THIS IS GREAT!
Please enjoy it and read it all the way to the end. This took a lot of work to put together!
1. The bandage was *wound/covering* around the *wound/damage*.
2. The farm was used to *produce/make happen- produce/product*.
3. The dump was so full that it had to *refuse/not allow* more *refuse/trash*.
4. We must *polish/make shine* the *Polish/European* furniture.
5. He could *lead/show the way* if he would get the *lead/lazy* out.
6. The soldier decided to *desert/leave* his *dessert/sweet food at the end of a meal* in the *desert/dry sandy place*.
7. Since there is no time like the *present/now*, he thought it was time to *present/give to* the *present/gift*.
8. A *bass/fish* was painted on the head of the *big/bass* drum.
9. When shot at, the *dove/bird-dove/flew into* into the bushes.
10. I did not *object/take offence* to the *object/noun*.
11. The insurance was *invalid/not legal* for the *invalid/handicapped*.
12. There was a *row/fight* among the oarsmen about how to *row/move*.
13. They were too *close/near* to the door to *close/shut* it.
14. The buck *does/causes* funny things when the *does/females* are present.
15. A seamstress and a *sewer/nitter* fell down into a *sewer/nasty* line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his *sow/hog* to *sow/plant*.
17. The *wind/air* was too strong to *wind/curl up* the sail.
18. Upon seeing the *tear/rip* in the painting, I shed a *tear/water from eye*.
19. I had to *subject/person* the *subject/undergo* to a series of tests.
20. How can I *intimate/explain* this to my most *intimate/closest* friend?
Let’s face the real sense of it, English is a crazy language.
• There is no *egg* in *eggplant* or *ham* in *hamburger*;
neither *apple* nor *pine* in *pineapple*.
• English *muffins* weren’t invented in *England* or *French* fries in *France*.
• *Sweetmeats* are *candies* while *sweetbreads*, which aren’t sweet, are *meat*.
• We take English for granted but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that *quicksand* can work *slowly*, *boxing rings*
are *square* and a *guinea pig* is neither from *Guinea* nor is it a pig*.
And why is it that *writers write* but *fingers* don’t *fling*,
*grocers* don’t *groce* and *hammers* don’t *ham*?
• If the plural of *tooth* is *teeth*, why isn’t the plural of *booth* be *beeth*?
• One *goose*, 2 *geese*. So, one *mouse*, 2 *meese*?
• One index, 2 *indexes*?
• Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make *amends* but not one *amend*?
• If you have a bunch of *odds* and *ends* and get rid of all
but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers *taught*, why didn’t preachers*praught*?
• If a *vegetarian* eats *vegetables*, what does a
*humanitarian* eat?
• Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
• In what language do people *recite at a play* and *play at a recital*?
• *Ship by truck* and *send cargo by ship*?
• *Have noses that run* and *feet that smell*?
How can a *slim chance* and a *fat chance* be the same, while a *wise man* and a *wise guy* are opposites?
• You have, to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in
which your *house can burn up* as it *burns down*, in which
you *fill in* a form by *filling it out* and in which, an alarm *goes off* by *going on*.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human *race* which, of course, is not a *race* at all.
That is why, when the stars are *out* they are *visible* but when
the lights are *out* they are *invisible*.
• PS: Why doesn’t *buick* rhyme with *quick*?
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.
• There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings
than any other two-letter word. That is *UP*.
• It is easy to understand *UP* meaning toward the sky or at
the top of the list, but when we awake in the morning, why do we wake *UP*?
• At a meeting, why does a topic come *UP*?
• Why do we speak *UP* and why are the officers *UP* for?
election and why is it *UP* to the secretary to write *UP* a report?
• We call *UP* our friends and we use it to brighten *UP* a
room, polish/shine *UP* the silver; we warm *UP* the leftovers and clean *UP* the kitchen.
• We lock *UP* the house and some guys fix *UP* the old car.
• At other times the little word has real special meaning.
• People stir *UP* trouble, line *UP* for tickets, work *UP* an appetite and think *UP* excuses.
• To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed *UP* is special.
• A drain must be opened *UP* because it is stopped *UP*.
• We open *UP* a store in the morning but we close it *UP* at •NIGHT.
We seem to be pretty mixed *UP* about *UP*!
• To BE knowledgeable about the proper uses of *UP* look
the word *UP* in the DICTIONARY.
• In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes *UP* almost one quarter
of the pages and can add *UP* to about thirty definitions.
If you are *UP* to it, you might try building *UP* a list of the many ways *UP* is used.
• It will take *UP* a lot of your time, but if you don’t give *UP*,
you may wind *UP* with a hundred or more.
• When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding *UP*, but
when the sun comes out, we say it is clearing *UP*.
• When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things
*UP*, when it doesn’t rain for a while, things dry *UP*.
• One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it *UP* for now as my,
time is *UP* so... it is time to shut *UP*!
Now, it’s *UP* to you to decide what you are *UP* to with this post.
*Crazy English*
That was a major mouthful!!! I need a nap now!
http://moderndayparablesrcf.com